26 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 7:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.5 lbs
Length: 30 minutes
Program: Shoveling snow
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: n/a
Rating: It always goes faster with the neighbor using his 4-wheeler to plow lots of snow away, but I got in 30 minutes of activity too.

22 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 363.7 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU Twist
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 308
Rating: I think I'm past the worst of the cold, thank goodness. I've been surprised at how consistently I get 307 to 308 calories burned with the TPRU Twist. It seems to be pretty reliable for me to put forth the same effort.

19 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 367 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU Twist
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 308
Rating: Two days in a row with the twist. I hope I'm getting completely over this cold.

18 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 364.6 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU Twist
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 308
Rating: I slept a little better last night, and I was able to breathe easier today, so I threw the twist back into the mix.

17 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 364.0 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 177
Rating: Still sick, still kind of hard to breathe, still plodding, but I've been fighting diarrhea too.

Weekend of Worry

Ever since my wife's parents have divorced, we've had to put new rules in place to protect my wife and the kids from as much of the fall out as possible. We now do not allow either of them to stay at our house overnight due to the stresses it creates. While that particular stress is now avoided, there are still plenty of others to go around.

Without going into too much detail, our family has suffered this weekend from the affects of a visit from one of my wife's parents. It has been an emotional and physical strain that makes us wonder how to balance our needs to protect ourselves with the commandment to honor father and mother, who sometimes are not deserving of honor in my opinion. If we continue to have this kind of fall out (EVERY member of the family has been negatively affected), how can that be good for our family, immediate and extended?

15 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 366.4 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 277
Rating: Still sick, still kind of hard to breathe, still plodding, but for 15 minutes today.

11 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 366 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 173
Rating: The sinus infection is making it hard to breathe deeply and rapidly, so I just plodded today.

Obsessive Compulsive

My son has mild Tourette Syndrome driven Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). As far as I know, I don't have Tourette Syndrome, but I do notice OCD tendencies in myself. For example, I try to be very consistent in the format of my workout posts.

I used to use workout in the title, but then I decided Workout capitalized was more appropriate. I am using Dec for December this month, but I just noticed that I was using October in October, and I nearly went back to all my December posts to update them to be consistent.

Fortunately, my OCD let me write a post about it instead of making me go back and do it. Of course, it will also encourage me to make sure that the rest of my December posts will have Dec and re-evaluate which format I'll use when January comes around. *smile*

10 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 363.8 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU Twist
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 193
Rating: I have a bit of a sinus infection, a bit of an upset stomach, and the bed sure felt comfy this morning. I hate that. *grin* At least I added in the twist for the 10 minutes I did today.

Moral Victory

I saw the doctor yesterday about my diabetes. My wife showed up unexpectedly to be courtside and help pound the seriousness into me. :)

In the end, it looks like the diabetes is still in the very early stages, and it doesn't appear to have progressed since March. The doctor told us that I should worry about it a little more and my wife a little less. All in all, I feel like, if I have to have diabetes, then at least it's this way and things can be greatly improved with continued effort on my part.

9 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 365.3 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU Twist
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 305
Rating: I almost didn't do the twist addition this time. By the time I got 2 minutes into the workout, though, I was feeling more like trying hard than I was at the beginning.

8 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 365.0 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU Twist
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 304
Rating: I tried a twist to my workout that was suggested in an email from my sister. Instead of just plodding along for 15 minutes, I did a 2 minute warm up (plodding along), then 30 seconds of "sprinting" on the machine, followed by 90 seconds of catching my breath, except for the last time, which was only 30 seconds of catching my breath before 15 minutes was up. Essentially, at the start of every even numbered minute, I go fast for 30 seconds, and then plod.

I burned about 7% more calories this way than on Friday, and it was somewhat more interesting than just plodding. I know I was sweating more after this workout. We'll see if I keep doing it.

5 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 368.9 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 284
Rating: Told you so (see previous rating). ;)

4 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:25 AM
Weight beforehand: 375.2 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 270
Rating: Oops, I forgot to take my blood pressure medicine yesterday. I'd expect the majority of the weight difference between yesterday and today is water weight. I've taken my medicine today, and after visiting the men's room a few times today due to that, I'll probably be back around 370 tomorrow.

I Lose

When we got back from Thanksgiving, there was a message on the answering machine from my doctor, with whom I'd had an appointment the day before Thanksgiving. He hadn't ever received my blood tests from back in March after my last appointment, and when I told him that at this appointment, he said he would get them.

The phone message said that I had more serious problems and that I needed to come in and see him again. We set up an appointment for this coming Monday. Well, my wife just told me that he called again today all upset that he hadn't heard back from me. Here's the essence of the conversation.

[Wife]

You have diabetes

[Me]

I do?

[Wife]

yes

[Me]

Did you talk to (the doctor)?

[Wife]

He just called upset that he hadn't heard from you yet

He said that you have diabetes that we can't ignore

we cannot wait for you to lose the weight, even though that will probably correct it

[Me]

Did you tell him that we've got an appointment?

[Wife]

He's glad you're coming in on Monday and wants me to pound into you how important this is

So, as of March, I have diabetes. Fun how I got to save finding out about it for a Christmas gift!

3 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 371.3 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 168
Rating:

SEO Update

Well, things at CTR-Ring.com seem to be improving with some SEO work done by us. My wife recently told me that she was the #2 link for CTR Ring on Google, after the Wikipedia page. There are more search terms that she'd like to rank higher for, but that's her bread and butter, so to speak.

So, just in time for Christmas, here are a few other items for sale (literally, having a sale right now, plus, you can save an extra 5% off orders $75-$149.99 with coupon code Christmas5 used at checkout, or 10% off orders $150 or more with coupon code Happy10).

• 20" Christus statue, $149.95 (regularly $169.95). Also available in 6" size, $19.95 (regularly $24.95)
• Temple Square Lights Christmas Ornament, $5.00 (regularly $12.95)
• Christus, Believe, and Nativity Crystal Cubes, (select from the dropdown list) $10.00 (regularly $19.95). Also, the lighted base to go with any of the crystal cubes, $8.00 (regularly $9.95).
• Finally, Church Puzzles, $6.00 (regularly $7.95)

Merry Christmas!

1 Dec 2008 Workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 370.7 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 161
Rating:

29 Nov 2008 Workout

Time: 10:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 370.5 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 183
Rating:

15 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 367.5 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 84
Rating: *sigh* I have a slight tickle in my throat, I don't see that these workouts are helping at all, and I'm tired.

I sure hope this ends up like the anecdote about the man that the Lord tells to push the boulder, and he spends his life pushing the boulder, always feeling like a failure because the boulder doesn't move. One day, the Lord returns and the man cries out that he has failed to move the boulder, and therefore failed the Lord. The Lord kindly points out that he told the man to push the boulder, not to move the boulder, and that by doing what he had been asked to do, the man has gained great strength in his arms and legs, and THAT was what the Lord wanted for him.

I don't see much benefit these days, but I hope there is some hidden there somewhere.

Dealing With Errata

It's not quite 9:00 AM, and I've already been dealing with errata all day.

My oldest son is very bright, and he also has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) driven Tourette syndrome. Over the weekend, he discovered a computer game that my wife and I have enjoyed for some time that we thought he would like. It turns out he likes it so much that yesterday (about 6:10 AM) and today (before 6:00 AM) he has gotten up very early to play it before getting ready for school. This is of course unacceptable, and we've been dealing with him needing to understand why he can't do that, and having to hide the required CD to launch the game, and dealing with him being tired.

We also recently decided to cancel our home monitoring service and go with a new provider. In checking over my accounts today, I discovered that the old service was still billing us. I spent just over 15 minutes getting that resolved with them.

Then there's the video book report that we have to transfer to an actual VHS tape, finding out if Scouts really is going to be tonight or not due to it being Pack meeting week, etc, that my wife is handling.

Better busy that bored, but I think I was already kind of busy. I ended up not doing a workout today due to tiredness and errata.

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and Online Business

My wife runs an online business, www.ctr-ring.com. She sells CTR rings (see the bottom of the page for an overview of what CTR means) and other Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints themed jewelry, craft items, clothing, literature, etc. She's been running it for about 18 months now, and it has been growing slowly but fairly steadily.

Recently she has been investigating using SEO to help her site show up on the first page of search results for people who are searching for her kind of business and merchandise. Many different companies are more than willing to take $500 or more off her hands in order to write articles, use keywords, and generally make her site more appealing to various search engines so that she'll be a top choice.

I'm writing this article about www.ctr-ring.com for free. *grin* I guess it's my way of playing around with the whole SEO concept, which to this point has only been theory to me.

She and I have talked about someday reaching a point where I could make enough money by investing/business ownership that I could work from home. Of course, I don't have any interesting business up and running right now, while she is pretty successful. Wouldn't it be a great thing if her business got to the point where it could cover our mortgage payment each month? All of our monthly bills? I'd be more than happy to work for her!

13 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 362.4 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 90
Rating: I'm glad my weight went down, but I'm not going to feel too confident about anything until I start dropping below the range I've been in. If I can get down below 355 and be consistently below that, I'll start feeling like I'm making real progress again.

Don't Panic

In my studies about financial markets, I've learned many things, and here is one of the most important ones. The greatest buying opportunities are when everyone else is so fearful that they sell everything and leave the market. We are starting to see that happen now, and I wouldn't be surprised to see the markets start to rebound in a significant way over the next 12 months, and possibly sooner, though I'm not going to make predictions. It might take longer to happen, but I'll be able to tell when it does.

There is an easy way to know when the market is officially going down and when it is officially going up. That is to watch the 20 week moving average and the 40 week moving average on a stock chart of a major market index, like the S&P 500 or the NYSE. When the 20 week average is above the 40 week average, the market is going up. When the 20 week average is below the 40 week average, the market is going down.

Want to see? Go to the following link for the S&P 500 and set the parameters I specify below.

http://bigcharts.marketwatch.com/advchart/frames/frames.asp?symb=SPX

Under the Time Frame area:
Time: 1 Decade
Frequency: Weekly
Under the Indicators area:
Moving Averages: EMA (2-Line) and the next box 20,40 to set it to 20 and 40 weeks

Those are the critical settings. I set other things like the Price Display (under Chart Style) to be Candlestick, but that's not really important. Click the Draw Chart button, and you should end up seeing something like the following, without the circles that I added.



I didn't include the dates in this picture, but you can find them at the bottom of the page when you go to the link. If you look closely, or click on the picture, you can see a brownish line and a blue line. The brown one is the 20 week moving average, and the blue one is the 40 week moving average.

The circles are when the 20 week went from above the 40 week to below (in the last few months of 2000), then from below to above (in the first few months of 2003), then again from above to below (at the very end of 2007). You'll notice that the general trend of the market is up when the brown line is above the blue, and it is down when the brown line is below the blue.

A simple way to use this information is to invest your money in the index you are tracking when the 20 week moving average moves from below the 40 week moving average to above it, then leave it invested there until the 20 week moving average moves below the 40 week moving average. At that point, you take your money out of the index and put it into CDs or bonds or something more stable until you see the 20 week moving average move above the 40 week moving average again.

So, don't panic. This might be close to the bottom, or it might not be there just yet, but the chances are pretty good that we are closer to the bottom than to the top, so if you don't need the money you have in stocks for the next few years, it might be better to hold on to them and wait for the market to go back up than to sell out this far from the top. It can be scary, and it could take a year or more to turn around, but if you have that much time, consider your options. Use the 20 week and 40 week moving averages, and you can know for sure when the index you are tracking is officially moving up again.

10 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 365.4 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 200
Rating: It sure doesn't feel like this is helping, but it's got to be good for me to be working out, doesn't it?!

9 October Weight Update

I was feeling pretty bad last night, so I went to bed around 9:00. I tried to sleep in a little bit today too, so I didn't do a workout. I did weigh myself, and I came in at 364.7.

My wife has been feeling very ill recently, and we think it might be due to some pills she has been taking to try and assist her own weight loss. She's run out of pills, so we're watching to see if she stops feeling so poorly going forward. Other women she knows have had great success with this particular formula so we were surprised to realize that her sickness seemed to coincide with when she started taking it.

8 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:25 AM
Weight beforehand: 365 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 84
Rating: I think the medicine helped me drop some water weight. I am getting pretty tired now, and I didn't want to get out of bed today. However, I DID get up, and I wimped my way through a little-bitty workout, but at least I did something.

7 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:35 AM
Weight beforehand: 367 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 109
Rating: I take some blood pressure medication that also acts as a diuretic (meaning it makes me have to go #1 a lot). I have missed a few days on that for various reasons, and today I started taking it again. My weight was up yet again this morning, so I worked out a little harder for the 5 minutes that I did, and I'm hoping that the water weight I expect to lose today coupled with the increased heart rate from the workout will help me drop some weight on tomorrow's reading.

General Conference

My wife and I had decided a long time ago that we would try to take our children to experience a General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in person after they turned 8 years old. My oldest has just passed that mark, and so we were in attendance Saturday morning.

We were a little worried about how he would handle the two hour meeting since he can't sit still for it at home and watch on TV, but he was interested and attentive much of the time. We had brought some papers to do word games on to help with the other times, and he told us that he really enjoyed it. It made me feel good to share that experience with him, and to have him be in the same room with a prophet.

6 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:25 AM
Weight beforehand: 364.7 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 260
Rating: I need to watch what I'm eating, because I'm working out and my weight is going up!

3 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:25 AM
Weight beforehand: 361 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 84
Rating: We're watching a friend's children while she recovers from surgery today, and I had other tasks that needed to be done, so I cut the workout extra short. I still did one though.

2 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 362.6 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 270
Rating: TPRU is still hard to do!

1 October 2008 Workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.2 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 260
Rating: The doctor confirmed that my middle son and I have strep as well. I've been taking my antibiotics, and I don't feel any worse than I did yesterday. Due to that, I decided to work out for at least 5 minutes and up to 15 minutes, and I ended up doing all 15.

30 September 2008 Workout

Time: 6:35 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.2 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 83
Rating: My wife has strep, and I think I'm starting to get it too. I didn't want to work out, but since I'm trying to be consistent, I figured I could do this much at least.

29 September 2008 Workout

Time: 6:25 AM
Weight beforehand: 360.9 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 268
Rating: A new job, a workout for the first time in months, and hopefully a new consistency. It'll be interesting to see how things develop. I'm encouraged that I haven't gained back all the weight I lost originally.

An Update on Work

Some of you may know that my employer has been going through a downturn with the rest of the industry. They have been requiring that we take shut down weeks, wherein we are required to take vacation time if we have it and unpaid time if we don't. Over the 54 week period from the week of Christmas 2007 through the week of New Years 2009, I will have been asked to take 7 weeks off while only earning 3 weeks of vacation.

This ends up being roughly 11 months of pay in 12 months, or a pay cut, or any other number of ways to look at earning less money than my base salary should be. This has caused me to look into other employment outside of my current industry.

I accepted an offer yesterday with a software consulting company. In addition to paying me every pay period (as far as I can tell so far, anyway), they are giving me a raise in my base salary of over 23%. It has been nice to feel wanted, but it's always that way at first. :)

I will not really miss the work I have been doing, but I will very much miss my co-workers. It has been a pleasure to associate with them, and I hope that my new co-workers will be as much fun.

An Update on Life

No workouts, obviously. :) Last time I stepped on the scale, it said 360, but I don't remember when that was. Last week maybe?

Family - This past weekend, my 1 year old son had a cold that ended up putting him into Primary Children's Hospital due to not being able to breathe very well. He went in Friday night and we just brought him home Monday night. He seems to be feeling much better, but he still needs breathing treatments every 4 hours, and they take two people to administer them. I've been working from home this week to watch the other kids and help with the treatments. We'll be keeping an eye on him to see if he has asthma or if this is something he'll grow out of (he's had issues like this before, but they were always resolved with breathing treatments and a steroid shot in the ER before).

My wife continues to be busy with her successful business, her stresses with her parents being split up, and the rigors of running a home and being involved in the community. She stayed with our son in the hospital the whole time he was there and is also very glad to be home. Her capacities continually amaze me.

My oldest boy, 8, has just started the third grade and is getting ready to be baptized in early September. He is as curious about life as ever, and he loves to explore and invent. He is very helpful, and he stayed up past 11:00 PM Friday helping the various babysitters who came to watch the kids while we were dealing with the hospital. He is growing taller and more mature every second it seems.

My second boy, 6, has just started the first grade, and so far, he seems to love it as much as he loved kindergarten, for which we are grateful. They have been having reading assessments, so it's only been half days so far. We'll see what happens when it turns into full days on Thursday. He likes to help too, and he loves to tell stories where he says, "Daddy, guess what? [One sentence]. And Daddy, guess what? [One sentence]. And, guess what? [One sentence]. etc".

My little girl, 3, has been missing her brothers but enjoying the chance for uniterrupted time with whatever toys, TV shows, computer games, or parent time she wants. She is always making sure we know that she knows she is beautiful, and she is. She's very smart and learns a lot from her brothers too.

Work - My company, after announcing shut down weeks in May and July, has just announced shutdown weeks in September (one) and December (two), none of which I will have enough time off to cover. I've also been contacted by recruiters, who I used to ignore. I'm paying attention now, and it sounds like there are opportunities available where I can get a 30% raise over what I'm supposed to be making now. I'll miss the people I work with now, but I have to take care of my family first. We'll see what turns up.

Well, I probably have more I should say, but I'm running up against the next breathing treatment. At least I'm on record as not being dead yet.

End of July Review

It's only been about 2 weeks since the last update, but it's near the end of the month, and I would like to get back onto that schedule, so here's the latest update.

I haven't worked out much in the last two weeks, so I'm slightly heavier than I was then. However, given the amount of good food I had during my work trip to Texas and my anniversary celebrations in addition to my wife's outstanding cooking, I am content to be where I am.

Here's an updated picture showing my goal to get to 300 lbs by the end of the year. See the post at the end of April for an explanation.

29 July 2008 Workout

Time: 6:55 AM
Weight beforehand: 357.3 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: I don't remember
Rating: I've been busy with work (a trip to Austin Texas from July 18 to July 22), family (10 year anniversary celebrations with my wife July 23 and 25), and church (congregation was re-aligned July 27). I took some time to work out on either the 28th or 29th, but I don't recall which, and I haven't even had a chance to log it until now. At least it was something - today I woke up in time for a workout, but I hadn't slept very well so I didn't do it.

Sadness Part 4

We have tried to stay out of the loop as far as how counseling has been going for my in-laws. My father-in-law called my wife today asking how much she wanted to know. She said the general overview, and he said that it's done. It sounds like they are starting to divide up the possessions and look for what work they will do to support themselves as individuals.

It's hard for everyone.

17 July 2008 Workout

Time: 6:45 AM
Weight beforehand: 355.6 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 208
Rating: I've noticed that if I work really hard in the first few minutes I tend to stay a little ahead of my 20 calories per minute goal. If I try to ease into the workout, it's harder to catch up.

16 July 2008 Workout

Time: 6:55 AM
Weight beforehand: 353.8 lbs
Length: 5 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 86
Rating: Something is better than nothing.

Long Overdue Review

I meant to update this at the end of May, and the end of June, and now it's mid July. Welcome to the update!

I'm still not down to the 352 lbs that I thought I was starting from with the old scale. I AM down about 29 lbs from where the doctors office said I started from, but that's only about 3 more lbs lost since the end of April.

Here's an updated picture showing my goal to get to 300 lbs by the end of the year. See the post at the end of April for an explanation.

15 July 2008 Workout

Time: 6:40 AM
Weight beforehand: 354.1 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 199
Rating: I believe this is a new low weight, except that it's about a pound more than I originally thought I was starting at.

14 July 2008 Workout

Time: 6:40 AM
Weight beforehand: 356.7 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 204
Rating: I have realized that I am too busy for 40 minute workouts again. I can much more easily fit it a 10 to 20 minute workout. I am going to stop feeling guilty for not working out for 40 minutes and just do something.

8 July 2008 Workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 355.7 lbs
Length: 15 minutes
Program: TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 269
Rating: I have to stop telling my wife what my weight is because she is working harder than I am to lose weight right now and having less success due to being a nursing mother. She hit my shoulder this morning. :)

And the Verdict Is...

Assistant Ward Clerk. This likely means that I will be assisting with the finances, making sure that an accurate account of all donations is kept and the deposits are made correctly. I had the same position when my wife and I were dating.

Of course, the person extending the calling didn't know if I would be helping with finances or membership issues, so I'll find out more on Sunday I expect.

Oh Dear...

My wife called me this afternoon to let me know that our church leaders have asked to speak with us this evening. I was recently a teacher to the 9 year old children, and when I was replaced, I was told that all things happen for a reason and to not get too comfortable.

We'll see what comes up, but I can assure you that I am not too comfortable right now. :)

25 June 2008 workout

Time: 6:10 AM
Weight beforehand: 357.6 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The Hill
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 554
Rating: I wanted to sleep in, but I had to use the bathroom, and then I decided I should work out. I'm pleased that my weight has remained the same since the last workout though.

19 June 2008 workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 357.7 lbs
Length: 20 minutes
Program: The first 20 minutes of TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 385
Rating: I resisted the temptation to do computer stuff this morning in order to do a half-workout. Since it was only 20 minutes, I decided to do the TPRU. It is still really hard.

Weight Came Back

By the time I got up this morning, I didn't feel like I had the time I really needed to do a full workout, and I skipped doing a partial workout in favor of trying to fix my wife's laptop (it still needs work).

Only 2 of the 5 lbs came back today, as the scale said 360.4 this morning.

17 June 2008 workout

Time: 6:05 AM
Weight beforehand: 358.7 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The Hill
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 553
Rating: 5 lbs overnight? I don't think so, though I weighed twice to be sure. I'll bet I get 3 of them back tomorrow.

16 June 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 363.6 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The Hill
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 512
Rating: Well, the elliptical repairman did his thing (very little, but at least we know that it's in good shape), and I worked out. I see that it's been 2 weeks since I last worked out, but hopefully I can get a routine going again. I'm glad that I didn't gain any more weight than I did during the "slow" time, and I hope the "slow" time is over.

Moan

Still no workout. Still trying to keep up with life. The guy to fix the elliptical machine is supposed to come on Saturday so that will remove that excuse for me.

Sigh

I haven't worked out in a long time, and I'm starting to feel it. I need to do a better job of it, but life has gotten really busy again. I guess that is likely to always be the case so I'd better learn how to deal with it. My weight this morning was 360.6, so that the wrong direction to be going.

Sadness Part 3

The court hearing took place, and it was decided by the judge to throw out the protective order. My father-in-law is no longer restricted from his house by law.

This of course does not alleviate the emotions and problems that led to this step in the first place. My wife was asked to be a witness for her father during the hearing, and she told the truth that both parties were verbally and emotionally mean to each other, but that there was no physical danger evident in her opinion. It was very hard for her to do, and she fears that it may have caused her mother to essentially disown her. I guess we will see how it all turns out.

I am glad that the legal issue is taken care of and gone. I hope that we will be able to insulate ourselves as much as possible from the marital issues while they work through them. They will only be resolved if both sides are willing to put in the necessary effort, and we do not want to have my wife or our kids be pawns in any gamesmanship that might take place.

I wish my in laws all the best in working through this.

Sadness Part 2

My father-in-law has been staying with us while waiting for the court date coming up tomorrow. He has been going through deep emotional pain, anger, frustration, and mourning, to name a few of the emotions.

I'm glad that we have been there to help him out, but I'm glad that he has also made arrangements to live with a friend in his hometown after the hearing. It is good to bear one another's burdens, but this is a divisive issue, and we need to maintain a neutrality toward both parties for our sake and the sake of our children.

We know his burden is great, as it has been heavy on us as well. I'm glad that we've been able to help him deal with the first wave of the burden, but it is time for him to move back to his hometown. If he's going to work on saving his marriage, he needs to be in closer physical proximity than he would be from our house.

2 June 2008 workout

Time: 6:10 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.9 lbs
Length: 20 minutes
Program: The first 20 minutes of the Hill
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 240 something I think
Rating: It's getting harder to want to work out. That's why I needed to do at least a little bit.

Sadness Part 1

I expect that this will continue for some time, which is why I label the post Part 1.

My wife is an only child. Her parents have been having marital issues for some time, and they have now come to a head. While her mother was in the state capital and her father was visiting us, her mother had either a restraining order or a protection order drawn up. When her father returned home and tried to call her mother in the state capital, her mother had the police come and serve the order to her father and force him to leave the house. With no where to turn until he is able to find out more at the court hearing on June 4, he has come to visit us.

Both mother and father have caused pain to each other in the past, and both need to make changes in order for this situation to get resolved with them on better terms with each other. I don't know that both of them will be willing to do that.

It is hard not to choose sides (other than I am fully on my wife's side), and it is hard to know how to help my children deal with this new reality. They are really struggling to handle it. Of course, I don't know how I might be able to help my wife either, but at least it's not taking her completely by surprise.

My wife read the order and started to get the feeling that she, listed as "child in common" might be restricted from contact with her mother as well. We are uncertain if that is actually the case though, as the wording doesn't make it clear and the legality of something like that seems questionable. My wife has had her own difficulties with her mother over the years, and it is hard to know if there is anything that can be done to patch their relationship now.

My wife has had issues with her father in the past as well. These seem to be improving as time goes on. Perhaps there is a chance that one day things can work out better with her mother as well.

29 May 2008 Work (And Some From the Day Before)

No workout this morning. I got up intending to do one, but I've been noticing some funny sounds coming from the elliptical machine for a while. I've been intending to try to tighten the screws on the machine to see if that would help, but I hadn't gotten to it.

This morning I decided to try to fix the machine instead of work out on it. I did all the tightening and checking that I could think of, but it didn't change anything. Funny noises still exist, but at least I know that it's not due to something simple that I can fix.

My wonderful wife purchased an extended warranty for the machine when we bought it, and she has arranged for a part that commonly goes out to be shipped to us and a repairman to check the machine next week. She's obviously got the better idea here. :)

My father-in-law has been visiting us the past 2 days, and he, my wife, and my oldest son have tackled the jungle growing in our backyard. I got home to see a transformed near-paradise. I helped trim a bush a little bit until the door-to-door alarm salesman came to find out that we weren't switching unless he could provide a better deal. He couldn't. The backyard has been weighing on my mind, and I really appreciate all of the hard work that has gone into making it so nice yesterday, with some finishing touches taking place today.

Ditto

Up until after midnight. Busy researching money savings (this time on our home alarm system). Too tired to try to get up and work out. My next post might be titled Deja Vu or something similar until I can't think of any more names for the same thing is happening.

Wonderful Weekend

What an enjoyable weekend. Saturday was my wife's birthday. Sunday was the day of rest. Monday was a day to try to catch up on some house work since the yard work was put off by rain. I didn't work out any of those days (or today), but my weight came in at 355.4 this morning.

Life has been busy and a little stressful recently, and this weekend has been a welcome respite.

I Like Sleep

Too bad my kids don't seem to like it very much. I woke up at 4:00 needing a bathroom break, and after that, I couldn't seem to get back to sleep very well. I decided I needed the sleep more than a workout, and then not one but two of my kids joined my wife and I in bed by 6:30. So much for getting extra sleep.

I guess I could move closer to the equator so that the days were generally always the same length and changes in the time of the sunrise wouldn't affect my children so much, but I'm sure I won't. :)

22 May 2008 workout

Time: 6:15 AM
Weight beforehand: 358.3 lbs
Length: 10 minutes
Program: The first 10 minutes of the TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 165
Rating: I wanted to stay in bed but felt too guilty to get back to sleep.

Can't Win for Losing

No workout today. I wanted to try to get some things done on the computer. The baby had gone to bed early last night and was up early, so my wife asked me if I wanted to make German pancakes for breakfast because they are easy while she took care of him. I decided I'd decide later.

I went down to work on the computer, but I found something else that needed to be worked on. When I got that fixed, it was time to make breakfast. I decided to make German pancakes because they are quick and easy.

20 minutes later, after kids whining and needing help, the pancakes go in the oven for 15 minutes. This will leave me 10 minutes to eat and be on my way. When the time is up, the pancakes are not done. Back in the oven they go for 10 more minutes. They are finished just in time for me to take some to work. My wife is feeling sad that they took so long, but it's not her fault things worked out that way. Her day is not starting much better than mine has.

I get out of the house around 8:05, and I have 10 minutes to get to where I need to be. Due to rain and traffic lights wanting me to sit around forever, it takes me 20 minutes to get there. On my way into my work building, through the rain, I realize I left my phone in the car and have to go back and get rained on some more.

Oh, did I mention that I need to get gas soon, and the price of gas went up 10 cents a gallon overnight?

It's just after 9:00 AM now. Who knows what the rest of the day will bring?

20 May 2008 workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 357.4 lbs
Length: 20 minutes
Program: The first 20 minutes of the Pedestal
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 294
Rating: With as hard as it has been to get a workout in, any workout at all is a good thing.

I'm Not in New York for a Reason

I knew my wife had a doctor's appointment today to discuss some problems she's been having after her hysterectomy. I did not know how scared she was about it until after my trip got canceled. She didn't want me to worry.

Saturday, we had our 8 month old little boy outside a fair amount while doing some yard work. Sunday, he could hardly breathe and had to be taken to the emergency room. He's still struggling today, though not as much as yesterday, and he has an appointment with the doctor this morning before my wife's appointment with the other doctor.

These are the kinds of things that make me glad that I'm not in New York this week for business. There's not a whole lot more that I can do here than I would be able to do from there, but I feel like I can do more being here.

Due to our boy needing breathing treatments every 3 hours during the night, I decided to not try to work out this morning while he and my wife were finally sleeping. I was tired too, but it sounds better if I say it was only my considerate nature. :)

I Just Saved a Ton of Money by not Switching my TV Provider!

It has been suggested that some might be interested to hear about how we will save over $300 over the next year due to what happened yesterday. I feel blessed that it worked out this way.

We currently get DirecTV bundled with Qwest, which gives us a $5.00 a month discount for bundling. We have been thinking about switching from Qwest to be able to get faster internet and using Voice over IP (internet phone calling) to save money on our phone bill. [Side note - that's probably not going to happen now as I'm hearing that the internet provider I was thinking of using is not the most reliable, and phone service has to be reliable.]

So, here comes the math!

Current DirecTV bill ~ $72
Current Qwest price ~ $67

We had an offer to upgrade our hardware for free from DirecTV if we extended our contract with them for 2 years. I've heard ads on the radio for satellite installers to set us up with a new account that would save us $23 a month on the bill but cost us $100 for the equipment. To skip all the gory details, I called DirecTV and told them what I could save with the local companies, and here is what they did for me.

1) Cancel unneeded protection plan. Savings ~ $5 a month forever, or $60 a year.
2) Give me $10 off per month for the next year. Savings = $120 for the next year.
3) Give me ~$80 lump credit right now to get my average savings up. Savings ~ $80 for the next year.
4) Give me a $20 credit for switching to billing via email rather than paper, even though I ended up not being able to switch since I'm with Qwest. Savings = $20 for the next year.
5) Give me a $200 equipment upgrade with a $200 equipment fee waiver, plus charge me $19.99 for the install. Savings = -$20 for the year, but $80 over going with a local company.

So, here's what it looks like now.
$60 + $120 + $80 + $20 = $280 in savings over the next year. $60 will continue after that. If we take the $19.99 away for the new equipment, that goes to $260 for the year. If we count the $80 saved by not switching, that goes to $360 for the year.

$280 divided by 12 = $23.33 a month, more than what the local companies could provide for the year, plus I still get the Qwest $5 discount. $360 divided by 12 = $30 a month in savings. :)

I expect that, if I could put all of our savings into a monthly bill instead of some of the lump sum credits we are getting, our monthly bill with the Qwest savings would be about $44. Instead, we'll have one month where we don't pay anything, one month where we'll pay about $27 to $47, and then the rest of the year the bill should be around $52.

16 May 2008 workout

Time: 6:15 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.1 lbs
Length: 20 minutes
Program: The first 20 minutes of the Pedestal
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 313
Rating: It was the best I could do for now.

And the Band Played On...

We tried to go to bed early last night. It was fortunate that we did, because we were able to hear our 8 month old boy have a big vomiting episode and be right there to help him. We're trying to get him to put on a little more weight because he is very skinny, and now we're thinking maybe we should have a doctor check him as well.

Anyway, sleep didn't come any earlier, I was still too tired to get up and work out, but I felt better about why I was up late. :)

We've Got to Stop Meeting Like This

Tired, and my wife is sick. Kids went to bed at 7:30 because they were tired and grumpy. I didn't sleep so well. No work out today.

13 May 2008 workout - New Program

Time: 5:45 AM
Weight beforehand: 358.2 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The Hill. See below. Here's the visual.
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Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 554
Rating: I modified the Train program so much that I decided to rename the new program to the Hill. I tried to combine the getting up to speed portion of the Train with the strength training portion of the Pedestal and TPRU. Click here to see an explanation of the other programs.

Doing the harder programs has made me stronger as it doesn't hurt as much to do them now. The Train didn't really seem to be meeting my needs anymore, especially since I'm trying to make my workouts harder in order to start losing weight again.

Here are some comparisons of the Hill to the other programs.

Program	Resistance Units (RU)	Percent of Total Possible RU
TPRU	480	100%
Pedestal	289	60.21%
Hill	254	52.92%
Train	150	31.25%

Finally, some pictures to wrap it all up. Note the symmetry I put into my programs - yet another of my OCD tendencies.

12 May 2008 workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 361.0 lbs
Length: 14 minutes
Program: The first 14 minutes of the TPRU
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 284
Rating: I'm getting tired trying to keep up with everything. I'm getting tired of not losing weight recently. I feel like I have to fit the whole workout into half the time. I did quite a bit of this program at the same speed that I do the Train at, which is why I averaged over 20 calories per minute, but also why I stopped after 14 minutes. I hope that I can at least make some little progress this way.

Bedlam can be Fun!

My sister flew in from across the country to visit us Wednesday night, and we spent some time chatting and visiting. She stayed the night, and I was too tired to work out on Thursday.

Work was busy, home was busy, and Friday came which is my middle son's birthday! I was too tired to work out again. We're having fun with my boy's birthday except for the fact that he has wanted to be 5 since he was 3 (so he could go to school). Today he has turned 6, and we are adjusting to not thinking of him as being 5 like we have for the past 3 years. :)

Hopefully I will be able to settle into a more normal routine next week, and then the following week I have a business trip to northern New York to throw me off again. Such is life.

7 May 2008 workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.7 lbs
Length: 20 minutes
Program: The first 20 minutes of the Pedestal
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 294
Rating: I have been so busy recently that I had to stay up late last night trying to catch up. I did manage to get up just before 6:00, and I figured that 20 minutes was better than nothing. The workout itself went better than the last time I tried it - I think doing the Pedestal and the TPRU workouts has made me a little stronger. I may have to make the Train program harder soon.

6 May 2008 workout

Time: 6:00 AM
Weight beforehand: 358.2 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The Train
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 437
Rating: I didn't want to do it, but I did it, and it turned out okay. The weight was a surprise. I'll bet it's higher tomorrow.

Weekend Report

Wow, I think I found out that it's almost as far to our destination in Idaho as it is to Las Vegas from our house. The drive ended at 11:30 PM on the way there, and at 10:45 PM on the way home. Fortunately, we only had to stop for one major break each way. The kids did really well overall.

We had a wonderful time visiting family and participating in the blessing of a beautiful baby boy. We were well taken care of, and we really appreciate that.

Due to the late hour of our arrival each time, we decided to try to sleep as much as possible today. The boys ended up sleeping so late that they will not be going to school, but we're nearing the end of the year, and they are academically doing just fine so I'm not worried.

The scale says I've moved up above 360 lbs again. I need to start working out and drop those pounds.

Swing and a Miss

I knew going to bed that I wouldn't be able to get up at 5:30. I set the alarm for 6:00 in the hopes that I'd be able to get out of bed and shaved and ready to work out.

I got out of bed. I shaved. It wasn't very quick. I was dragging. By the time I finished everything I need to do before I work out, it was about 6:25.

I thought about doing an abbreviated workout, but then my little 3 year old daughter came wandering into the room with her usual morning cheerfulness. I would much rather play with her than work out.

So I did. :)

Oh, I got a haircut too (I should have weighed myself before and after just to see if it makes much of a difference). And we're leaving to visit family in western Idaho this afternoon. It'll be a long but fun trip.

1 May 2008 workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 358.3 lbs
Length: 20 minutes
Program: First 20 minutes of the Train
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 221
Rating: I am so tired, and it's not due to the workouts. I'm worried about my family, I have a cold, and I didn't sleep well.

Opposite From Yesterday

I thought I wouldn't work out yesterday, but I did. Last night, when I went to bed, I thought I would work out this morning, but I didn't. I slept okay, but I was very tired when the time to work out came around. My wife seems to be feeling the same thing, as she had a struggle to get out of bed too. Hopefully we can get feeling better soon.

Nearly End of Month Review

OK, so I've been working on this for almost 2 months now. Time for a review.

I'm still not down to the 352 lbs that I thought I was starting from with the old scale. I AM down about 26 lbs from where the doctors office said I started from, but I haven't weighed myself again on their scale to know where I am now.

Here's a picture showing my goal to get to 300 lbs by the end of the year. For the expected weight, I took the 382 starting weight, subtracted the 300 end goal weight, and figured out that I had 300 days to get there. I then entered in what the weight should be each day to get down to 300 lbs evenly.

For the actual weight, I started with 382, and since I don't have valid data from the new scale for most of March, I did a similar average weight loss per day to get to where I started with the new scale. After that, I took the numbers from the blog, and on days that I didn't work out, I copied the weight from the last time I had worked out. Here's what it looks like.

29 April 2008 workout

Time: 6:05 AM
Weight beforehand: 356.3 lbs - only 4 lbs to get back to where I thought I started from!
Length: 40 minutes
Program: TPRU. Yes, I really did do level 12 for 40 minutes.
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 702
Rating: I went from thinking there was no way I'd work out in the morning due to my cold last night to feeling strong enough to try the galactically stupid this morning. I made it all the way through, but I also learned that the Pedestal and TPRU programs are more strength training, whilst (yes, I work with people in the United Kingdom, and they say "whilst", and I like it) the Train program is more cardiovascular based.

Sick and Carpooling

I've had my cold turn worse again over the weekend. I didn't work out this morning, but I did get a blessing yesterday.

I also started a carpool today. I drive about 7 miles to a meeting point that is convenient for the three of us, and then we drive the remaining 19 or so miles to work. I am driving this week. I hope it will help reduce my commuting expenses.

25 April 2008 workout death march

Time: 5:55 AM
Weight beforehand: 357.8 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The Pedestal. See below. Here's the visual.
556667788899 10 10 10 11 11 10 10 10 99888776666655555444
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 525
Rating: I call this program the Pedestal because it's the one my wife uses. She burned 550 calories using it yesterday. The elliptical can't report the burning of my eyes from the sweat pouring into them, or my heart jumping out of my chest and slapping me upside the head while screaming "What where you thinking?!"

All hyperbole aside, this was a tough program. I'm going to call my regular program The Train because it has plenty of time for me to start slow and get up to speed before trying to hold that speed through the harder section and then cooling down. The Pedestal is just a mountain climb with no chance to get up to any speed. I had to just start slow and try not to stop.

It got me thinking about the amount of resistance fought versus the total possible amount of resistance. Our elliptical machine goes up to level 12, and if you did that for 40 minutes, you'd do 12 * 40 = 480 Resistance Units (RU). If you add up the resistances from the Train, you get 150 RU, or 31.25% of the Total Possible Resistance Units (TPRU). The Pedestal adds up to 289 RU, or 60.21% TPRU.

Tiredness Strikes Again

I woke up on time this morning, and I could have forced myself out of bed on time again. I've been doing that a lot this week, though. I decided that it would be better to get some rest. I did try to go to bed extra early the night before last, but my mind was still alert even though my body was tired. I'd like to find a way to get both to want to sleep at the same time. :)

23 April 2008 workout

Time: 6:05 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.0 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The same program.
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 423 or so
Rating: I wondered if yesterday's weight was real. Regardless, I've been below 360 this whole week so far, and that is a milestone in and of itself. The workout went fine, although I felt like I should have paced myself more during the warm up so I wouldn't wear out. I didn't really wear out, but I didn't feel as strong as yesterday.

22 April 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 357.2 lbs - I was so surprised that I had to check again!
Length: 40 minutes
Program: The (full) same program.
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 442 - a new record
Rating: I guess this is working, even when I had to cut the last two workouts short. I'm not sure that I really believe that I lost nearly 2 lbs since yesterday - we'll see what the scale says tomorrow. Maybe someday I'll get back to where I though I was starting with the old scale.

21 April 2008 workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.0 lbs
Length: 20 minutes
Program: First 20 minutes of the same program.
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 213
Rating: I really need to start getting to bed earlier, not that last night was too bad. I was getting started so late that I only worked out for 20 minutes, but it's better than nothing. I REALLY don't want to get into the habit of cutting my workouts short, though. I need to watch that.

18 April 2008 workout

Time: 6:20 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.5 lbs
Length: 30 minutes
Program: First 30 minutes of the same program. I left off the cool down part.
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 320 to 330 - I didn't pay close enough attention.
Rating: I ended up staying awake far too long and not wanting to work out. In the end, I decided I should do it anyway, but I only did the first 30 minutes in an attempt to be done and showered before the kids got up. That didn't work out, but at least I did.

17 April 2008 workout

Time: 5:55 AM
Weight beforehand: 361.6 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same program, but I had to adjust the first 14 minutes back to what it used to be because my wife inadvertently modified my custom program.
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 410
Rating: My wife works a lot harder than I do. My first 10 minutes of warming up is at level 3. She starts her workout at level 6. My highest level is only level 5, she goes up to level 10 in the first 14 minutes! Maybe someday I'll be able to handle the workout she does, but I already know I can't handle the work load she does. I am a terrible mother. She says I'm a decent father though.

16 April 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 361.7 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same program
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 406
Rating: I intended to take this one slow as it had been a while, and I'm still tired and feeling sick, though better than yesterday. It ended up being a better workout than I expected. I've put some weight back on, but hopefully getting back into a workout routine will take it right back off.

Sick Day

I wanted to get up at 5:30 this morning when I set the alarm last night. When it went off, I turned it off and set the second alarm that goes off at 6:00. When that went off I wanted to get up at 6:30. When that came I couldn't get up either. With all of us under the weather and worn out, we decided to all take a sick day. I stayed in bed until 9:00ish, and my wife was able to rest until after 11:00. The kids have been restless, but it is good for them to get to, or be required to at times, take a rest. Our youngest is sick or growing or both and has already been napping for some time. I think I should do that soon too.

New Floor, New Appreciation

Our friends came Friday night. That night, the husband climbed up onto our roof to disconnect an unused dish left by the former homeowners that just banged against the house in the wind. Saturday, from a little before 9:00 AM until just after 1:00 AM with a few breaks for meals, he did the majority of the work to lay most of our laminate floor in the kitchen, closet, hallways, and bathroom. On Sunday, he again did the majority of the work to finish the flooring, and this morning, he finished putting our bathroom back together after we weren't able to get new toilet anchors yesterday. His youngest son, about 4 months old, has a doctor's appointment at Primary Children's Hospital today for cleft palate, and then they'll drive the 4 hours back to their home in Idaho. The only payment I gave him was meals, and my wife may have given them some money for gas.

There is great value in handyman skills. I have learned this over and over, but I am not the type of person who will ever really master those skills. I am grateful to know people who have them, and I'm grateful for their willingness to give so freely. I hope that I can be as free with the skills that I do have to those who are in need of them. I try to do the best I can when the opportunity presents itself.

Even though I mostly played "go-fer" while he did the work, I certainly wore myself out. There was no way I was going to work out this morning after the weekend we had. I'm just trying to stay awake! I was grateful for the improved physical condition I have compared to a month ago, though. If I had tried to do this in that condition, I don't know that I would be able to stay awake right now.

Big Project Weekend

We've got some friends coming to visit this weekend. He is a construction and handyman type, and he's going to help us install some new flooring in our kitchen. My wife is VERY excited for this new floor - our linoleum is ugly, and this new laminate should look much better.

Part of preparing for this visit is to get the whole house tidied up. Due to difficulties with our last pregnancy and surgery, it has been quite some time since certain areas of the house have had much attention - we've just been trying to get by. Yesterday, my wife and kids put in lots of work to get one of our three levels very nicely cleaned up. We also picked up the crib we ordered and put it together.

The end result is that we put the kids to bed around 9:00, finished cleaning around 10:00, and had our personal dinner and watched TV to relax until about 11:30. With the upcoming project, my level of fatigue, and the cold I have, I decided to not workout this morning too. I still ended up being grouchy, and I need to work on that - it's not anyone's fault but my own that I stayed up an extra hour last night that I didn't need to. Sorry honey.

No workout today

Yesterday was a very long and tiring day for myself, my wife, and my children. We've been driving about 45 minutes to get my oldest son to a counselor to try and determine if he has been abused, and if so, how badly. The good news is that there is no obvious sign of abuse. There does appear to be something bothering him, but yesterday the counselor said it might be due to the OCD that my son has been diagnosed with. We'll have our last appointment next week.

By the time we get home, we just want to get everyone to bed and settled and relax. Unfortunately, my wife seems to be getting a bladder infection as well. We spent some time trying to find her some relief from that.

After a day like that, even though I was awake before the alarm went off, I decided it would be best for everyone to get as much rest as we could. I know the extra sleep did me some good.

9 April 2008 workout

Time: 5:55 AM
Weight beforehand: 358.1 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same new program
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 404
Rating: I tried to warm up again today, but I must have pushed too hard when I started getting up to speed, because I had to slow down about a third of the way through. Still, I made it, even though I was pretty tired.

This is Why I Want to Use Money to Make Money

My company announced today that we will be forced to take two weeks off, one the week of Memorial Day, and one the week of July 4th, for short term cost savings. I probably don't have enough vacation time to cover the whole thing, so some of that will be time off without pay. There will also be the "traditional" two week shutdown over Christmas, and I may not have enough vacation time built up to be able to take those without any loss in pay either. Flex time rather than separate vacation and sick would be helpful here.

While not as bad as losing my job, being at the mercy of someone else's fiscal policy is uncomfortable. These kinds of things are why I want to invest and use money to make money so that I don't have to worry about the stability of a job.

8 April 2008 workout

Time: 5:45 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.6 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same new program
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 434
Rating: What a difference a warm up makes. I can't believe I'm doing enough exercise to know that from experience rather than just hearing about the theory.

Busy

It's been a month since I started working out. This past weekend was a spiritual feast. My children are growing up. Work has some good points and bad points. All of these things and more want me to write about them. Sadly, I am so busy with all of them that I don't seem to get the time to do it.

7 April 2008 workout

Time: 5:45 AM
Weight beforehand: 361.3 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Here is a visual representation of the tweaked program.
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Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 401
Rating: I didn't warm up as slowly as I should have, and I ended up burning out far too early. I finished, but more than half of the workout was just me dragging to get through.

4 April 2008 workout

Time: 6:00 AM
Weight beforehand: 359.7 lbs - The first time this scale has me below 360!
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same program, but I'm thinking about tweaking it again.
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 412
Rating: I was afraid of Montezuma's Revenge again when I first woke up, but I made it through the whole workout without interruption. I even burned more calories than I thought I might.

3 April 2008 workout - Interrupted

Time: 5:40 AM
Weight beforehand: 362.0 lbs
Length: 14 minutes
Program: First 14 minutes of the same program
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 143
Rating: I was up using the bathroom at 4:30 and again at 5:30, and even so, the workout needed to be interrupted today. It took long enough that I thought I would just move on, especially since I was afraid I would be interrupted again.

I Wimped Out Today

I was really tired and grouchy yesterday. My wife was very tired too, so we made sure to go to bed earlier than we had been. My daughter woke up and needed some brief words of comfort around 1:30 AM, and after that I couldn't get back into a restful sleep. When the alarm went off, I wondered if I should get up and run the risk of being mean and grouchy toward my family again. In the end, I decided I should get more rest.

The result? I'm not as tired as I was when I first got up, but I feel like I should just choose to not be mean and grouchy rather than allowing myself to be mean and grouchy when I'm tired.

1 April 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 361.7 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same program
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 385
Rating: This is more what I expected yesterday to be like. I was tired and didn't want to workout, but I did it halfheartedly because it's good for me.

31 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 360.1 lbs on our new scale
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same program
Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 426
Rating: Surprised by the weight and surprised by the calories burned

New Scale, New Goals, Review

I'd like to start with a bit of review. I got my computer display and mouse working properly again yesterday. Yay!

Our old scale only went up to 300 lbs. Then it started around the circle again. The kids had played with the needle a lot, and we didn't really think it was too accurate. It was often showing me at 30 lbs or so less than the scale at any doctor's office.

My wife thought that a scale that was more accurate was in order to help us really know what kind of progress we're making. We just got a Weight Watchers digital scale with battery powered memory for up to 4 users and a goal tracking feature. The only thing I know how to do on it so far is find out how much I weigh.

This scale is accurate up to 375 lbs it claims, and it looks like I needed it to be there. I would hope that the difference between this scale and the doctor's scale will only be 3 to 5 lbs going forward.

A bit more review - going from thinking I was 335 lbs to thinking I am 363 lbs is not fun.

The new information from the new scale means it's time for new goals. I'll take my old goals from the earlier post and edit here for the new information.

Goals: I want to be down at least 20 pounds by my oldest son's birthday in August. It appears I am well on my way to that, so I might increase it to 10% of my starting body weight, or 38.2 pounds, if things continue to go quickly. I want to be below 300 lbs (Yikes! That's 82 lbs in about 41 weeks! I hope I can average 2 lbs lost per week. It sounds reasonable.) by the new year. I want to get down to at least 250 lbs before I think about trying to maintain rather than lose, and I think a range of anywhere from 190 to 220 lbs would be pretty good for me going forward.

Hey, I know! Let's review some more! It's been 3 weeks since the doctor's visit. I've lost about 18 lbs, some of which must be fat. I don't seem to have lost much this week, which I think means that I'm down to the part where I actually can tell by how my clothes fit when I lose weight. This means that I need to see if I can average 2 lbs of weight loss per week now.

28 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:55 AM
Weight beforehand: 363.3 lbs on our new scale
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Here is a visual representation of the program I did again.
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Elliptical Reported Calories Burned: 417
Rating: New scale, more accurate weight. This scale is probably closer to the scale at the doctor's office, which had me at 382 or so when this all started. As for the workout, 417 calories is my personal best, beating yesterday's 401 to 405. New weight, new caloric burn high. Coincidence? I don't think so. It was hard to get there though, so I don't know when I'll match the 417.

Tech Rant

I was using my computer just fine last night and shut it down normally when I was done. This morning, I booted up to find that my resolution had gone from 1920 x 1200 using my NVIDIA adapter (nice) to 800 x 600 using some built in Sga adapter (not nice). I spent over 20 minutes trying to figure out why it got changed and fix it, and now that I've got that taken care of, I find that my laptop mouse hardware has been disabled somehow and my auto-scroll feature is disabled. ARGH!

OK, so it's pretty low priority stuff, but hey, that's what pet peeves are for.

27 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 335 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Here is a visual representation of the program I did today.
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Rating: I'm still not enjoying working out. My desire to be healthier is stronger than my desire to not workout as yet. I made the program harder today hoping that I would be able to start getting a little more benefit from the workout - I think I had gotten used to the easier program.

How To Be Wealthy

I read part of the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" during our vacation. The author gave the secret to being wealthy, and it's one you and I have heard before. It really is true, though, and people seem to ignore it anyway.

Ready? Here it is. Acquire income producing assets. Also known as spend less than you earn and save. Also known as put something away for a rainy day.

Simple, isn't it? Why don't we do it? The advice is the same from "The Richest Man in Babylon." Put some money to work for you. Let it earn interest, or buy you a part (or all) of a business that earns income, or purchase some other asset that is designed to produce money rather than consume it. Once your assets produce enough income to cover your expenses, you're wealthy enough to manage your assets rather than work for money.

Now we know how to be wealthy. Can we do it?

26 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 335 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same custom program.
Rating: I'm not going to say nice things about working out today either, but at least it was slightly better than yesterday. Kind of like getting into a car accident at 25 mph is slightly better than getting into a car accident at 30 mph.

Mind Over Matter

I suppose the feelings I had today are a big part of why most workout programs end soon after they start. My body is telling me in no uncertain terms that it doesn't like what I'm making it do.

It's very interesting to me just how much of a workout is mental - my body CAN do this, if I make it do it. It tempts me to not do it, and it complains the whole time, and I just want it to shut up and do what I tell it to. It doesn't stop complaining, and it doesn't shut up, but it does do what I tell it to if I keep telling it to do it.

Go go gadget mental determination!

25 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:50 AM
Weight beforehand: 332 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same custom program.
Rating: Today I take back every good word I've ever said about working out. I'm tired, I'm grumpy, I'm mean, and I didn't want to work out. I didn't work hard, and my body whined at me the whole time to quit. The only good things about this workout were that I started and that I didn't stop until 40 minutes were up.

Easter

As part of our mini vacation, we did an easter egg hunt with some friends. The kids of course loved searching for the eggs, although some were not quick enough to grab the obvious ones before someone else did. They loved the candy hidden inside, and they loved running around.

I was a little turned off toward the whole thing at first, until I found a way to associate the egg hunt with the blessings of Christ. Christ has put many blessings in our lives, and many of them are obvious. Some, like having a world to live on and air to breathe, we don't even have to do anything to benefit from. Some, like the blessings that come from keeping the commandments, come from the small amount of labor it takes to bend over and pick up the egg, although there are those who don't know the commandments who don't see these eggs all the time. Some require diligent searching and effort, similar to fasting and prayer.

The nice thing about the Lord's blessings is that they are limitless and easily shared. Anyone can pick up the same blessing I get by doing the same thing I did to receive it.

On a related note, I certainly felt a special closeness with my wife and children yesterday. They are marvelous blessings to me, and I would be lost without them.

24 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:45 AM
Weight beforehand: 335 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Here is a visual representation of the program I have been doing.
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Rating: Ouch. I enjoyed not working out during our little vacation. I tried not to eat too much, but I didn't get overly strict. In the end, it looks like I picked up 2 lbs, and the workout made my legs sore. In a I'm-afraid-to-admit-it way, I was looking forward to the workout and felt good that I was doing it.

Sleep-no-workout-ing

No workout this morning as my wife and I both had a long night due to various children being awake at various times of the night. Our six month old, who had been doing quite well at making it through the night the last few days, was moved from our master bathroom to a sibling's room, and he decided that it just wouldn't do about 3:30 in the morning. His sibling was none to pleased with his complaints, either.

In the end, once everyone got settled, I decided to get up at 6:00 rather than 5:30. When 6:00 came around, I decided that we would all be better off today if I just got more rest.

The scale had me at 330 lbs this morning. We'll see what happens over the rest of the week as we are planning to leave for a short vacation this evening, and I'm not sure what the workout situation will end up being.

An interesting dieting website

A friend of ours pointed my wife to http://www.thedailyplate.com/ as a good place to find and track calories. I am feeling too busy to really dig into it right now, but it looks interesting.

My wife did a little investigation and figures that my workouts are burning over 900 calories, where I thought it was more around 375 (that's what the elliptical machine says, but I don't enter in my weight. Does that make a difference?). She looked up how many calories were in the food we had from Bajio's last night. She was able to estimate how many calories were in the homemade whole wheat pancakes with chocolate chips she made for breakfast, all at the site listed above.

Hopefully I'll get more time to look into it in depth soon.

18 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:45 AM
Weight beforehand: 333 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Same as last time, except I added another 10 minutes of the 3/4 switch for a total of 10 minutes at level 4.
Rating: I couldn't even sleep-workout for very long this morning. I figured since I was slightly up on weight and feeling awake I'd make the workout harder. I'm not dead, but I feel the extra work!

Sleep-workout-ing?

Sleep-working-out? Yeah, the name needs work. I need a word to describe my early morning workouts. I've discovered that, since I usually don't want to get up, I can close my eyes and "rest" while working out.

I've found that it can help the time pass more quickly, and the most interesting thing I've noticed is how I tend to focus on my body movements and responses. I seem to be able to tell when I can increase my speed a little and how my body is responding to the load on it.

I have also noticed that I can't keep my eyes shut for the whole workout. Even if it's not counting occasional glances to see how much time is left. With about 15 minutes left, I seem to be more alert and awake and wanting to have my eyes open.

Of course, now that I'm done, I'd love to have a nap!

Lastly, hurray for no flood during this business trip!

17 March 2008 workout

Time: 5:45 AM
Weight beforehand: 330 lbs - 23 lbs in just over a week????
Length: 40 minutes
Program: 10 minutes of level 3, 10 minutes of 1 minute at level 4, then 1 minute at level 3, then repeat (total of 5 minutes at level 4), then 20 minutes of level 3. The elliptical machine remembered my settings from last time.
Rating: I was worried how I would respond after 3 days off, but things went just fine. I don't know that I'll ever be a workout fanatic, but I hope to be consistent.

Things that make you feel ...

Motivated:
Being "the fat guy" in the airplane that everyone hopes they don't have to sit next to.
Wondering if this is the time you will have to first ask for a seat belt extender in the airplane.

Loved:
Having your wife hiding near the door to jump out and scare you when you get home from a business trip.
Kissing your wife after getting home from a business trip.
Having your six month old child follow your movements around the room so he can keep an eye on you.

Confused:
Not getting enough sleep to be able to keep up with conversations.
Being asleep enough to snore but awake enough to wonder if it was you that just snored.

Sad:
Thinking that there is a chance that one of your children has been abused.
Having no good idea when or where or who perpetrated the abuse.
Wondering what you could have done better as a parent to keep something like this from happening.

Grateful:
Knowing that Christ has made beautiful lives out of people who started with awful things happening to them and then turned to Him.
Recognizing that the Lord can help us through anything we might face individually or as a family.

Thoughtful:
Wondering what to put into a post about feelings after the previous two emotions.
Deciding that this is the end of this post.

Have a Happy Pi Day

Thanks to feeling like I really should check my work email late last night before going to bed, I've been informed that it's Pi Day today, approximately.

http://www.piday.org

For a mathematically humorous way to spend 20 minutes, poke around the site a bit. I enjoyed the Pi Raps on YouTube link. Please note that I am a geek and find enjoyment in things that others might find boring.

No workout today

I'm really tired. Today is Friday, one week from my doctor's visit. Counting the week starting that day and ending yesterday, I've worked out 6 days in the week. Of course, counting today through next Thursday, I'll likely only work out 4 days in that week. Another justification bites the dust!

I actually feel like missed days are inevitable in exercise just like bad days are inevitable with diets. I just can't give up due to one missed/bad day, but I can't let myself believe I'm still following a program if I have too many missed/bad days either. Gotta keep it real.

13 March 2008 workout

Time: 6:45 AM CDT (in MDT, that's too-freakin'-early o'clock)
Weight afterwards: more than 350 lbs since I was above their scale limits
Length: 35 minutes
Program: Weight Loss program on hotel elliptical machine
Rating: The hotel has a decent gym, but this reinforces my thought that a gym is not the right environment for me. Still, I'm glad a got a workout today.

Time and Priorities

Part of the reason I was so worried about getting started with working out is because I am already feeling short on time to accomplish the things I would like to do. I try to make time for my family and helping around the house, and that leaves me very little time to study something I find quite interesting, investing and trading.

I'm hopeful that my focus on getting up earlier in the morning to make sure I get a workout will help me to get up just a bit earlier still so that I will have time to study investing after the workout each day. I have bought a few courses and subscribe to some newsletters, but it is pretty hard to keep up right now.

One of the reasons I'm interested in studying investing is because the world is becoming more of a global economy each day. Lots of pressure is put on governments to impose tariffs and other restrictions on trade to protect jobs. In the end, I believe efficiency will win out.

I've seen job outsourcing in my profession happening for some time. Fine tuning is still taking place, and there will always be opportunities locally for the right talent. However, I believe that I should take advantage of this time to prepare myself educationally for either the time when I need to choose a new profession or the time when I am successful enough to leave this one behind. I believe that managing a portfolio is something that can be done successfully and not be outsourced without my consent.

I'm taking some training materials with me on my business trip to occupy my time during the flights and 3 hour layover. I hope to get some good accomplished.

12 March 2008 workout

Time: 6:15 AM
Weight beforehand: 340 lbs
Length: 40 minutes
Program: 10 minutes of level 3, 10 minutes of 1 minute at level 4, then 1 minute at level 3, then repeat (total of 5 minutes at level 4), then 20 minutes of level 3.
Rating: I did not want to get up again. The workout got off to a decent start though, and I was even feeling a tad energetic, hence the slightly harder workout. By the last 12 minutes, I was dragging, but I made it. We'll see how things go on the business trip.

Details, Goals, and Diet

I'm realizing (okay, I spoke with someone on the phone who told me) that I haven't provided much detail about what kind of workouts I do. I also haven't posted about my goals or diet. Here we go.

Details: We own an elliptical machine, built by Nordic Track. We used some of the money from the sale of our last house to get a relatively high end one, mostly because we had to in order to safely support my weight. I've used it off and on in the ensuing two years, but my current workouts consist of using one of the various programs that it offers or creating my own.

I don't think working out in a gym would work for me on a regular basis. It's hard enough to get up and workout in the underwear I was going to change anyway. I can't imagine myself packing a bag and driving somewhere only to go and change and workout and shower and change and pack up and drive back home.

Goals: I want to be down at least 20 pounds by my oldest son's birthday in August. It appears I am well on my way to that, so I might increase it to 10% of my starting body weight, or 35 pounds, if things continue to go quickly. I want to be below 300 lbs by the new year. I want to get down to at least 250 lbs before I think about trying to maintain rather than lose, and I think a range of anywhere from 190 to 220 lbs would be pretty good for me going forward.

Diet: I haven't done very much with this since the doctor's visit. I've been making good changes this year though, mostly due to my wife's improved energy after her latest surgery. She has been so kind and thoughtful in making healthy meals that are filling so that I won't stop and buy fast food on the way to work or to feed the family dinner. I'm enjoying the berry smoothies that she makes (I don't eat berries on my own - I should change that). I'm trying to eat the apple slices and other fruit options she provides. I'm glad that she makes such wonderful foods with so many vegetables (you should try her homemade pizza! Who knew that zucchini, onions, spinach, mushrooms, sometimes olives and summer squash would make such darn good toppings?! The kids won't eat pizza from any of the stores with anything but cheese or pepperoni, but they'll devour hers!).

In general, I have an appetite suppressant for the next month or so, but I don't need it right now because working out is making me not hungry (not the normal, I'm full kind of not hungry - the I'm too tired to eat kind of not hungry).

Let me know if you have further questions. :)

11 March 2008 workout

Time: 6:30 AM
Weight beforehand: 340 to 344 lbs, depending on the angle I stand on the scale.
Length: 40 minutes
Program: Level 3 the whole way.
Rating: It finally happened. I did NOT want to get up today. I did NOT want to workout. I wanted to quit after 25 minutes, then after 30, then after 35. I stuck it out. I feel pretty run down (I've got a cold). BUT I DID IT.

Man Rant

This is your fair warning. I am about to post things that I would normally not say out loud due to consideration of tact and class. You may be offended by what you read here. Do not read further if your feelings are easily hurt. You have been warned.

I respect women, and I love my wife, mother, sisters, and daughter. Sometimes, though, I wish that they could just deal with things like men instead of women.

Men communicate by exchanging information. They process the information they've received, and if there is any doubt or confusion about the information, they will generally ask for clarification or a fight.

Example:
Man 1: The USU Aggies stink this year and don't deserve to go to the NCAA tournament.
Me asking for clarification: You talkin' to me?
Man 1 providing clarification: You heard me, stinking cow herder.
Me asking for a fight: You want to take this outside?

Women communicate by building relationships. The truest meanings of conversation are carried not in what is said, but how it is said, and how it might be interpreted. They will exchange hellos in passing and spend the next 30 minutes trying to decide if the other woman hates them, and if so how much, and how much venom they should put into their next exchange.

Example:
Woman1: Hello
[Possible Interpretations, depending on tone and body language, among other factors]
- I can't believe you wore THAT today.
- I still hate you from when you didn't say hi to me three years ago when we were within 50 feet of each other in the Mall of America.
- I'm envious of your appearance, but I want to look like I couldn't care less.
Woman2: Hi
[Possible Interpretations, depending on tone and body language, among other factors]
- You vile hussy, you.
- Nice hair. Did your curling iron cause some singes this morning?
- What are you looking at? Do I have something in my teeth?

The possible interpretations get even better when one woman tells another woman about something a third person (or farther down the chain) said. We'll come back to this one later.

Notice that none of the possible interpretations are casual greetings. Of course, women often do exchange casual greetings and recognize them as such, but that falls outside the scope of my rant and will therefore be ignored for the time being.

This is why men and women can be so confused in a relationship for the first little while, like 10 or 20 years. A man asks for information, and the woman tries to build the relationship. The man asks for clarification, and the woman feels that the man doesn't care about the relationship.

Example:
Woman: Honey, can you please put the seat of the toilet down when you're finished using the facilities?
[Possible Interpretation] He loves me, and knowing that I would like the seat down will help him to show me that he loves me.
Man: Why do I have to put the seat down? Isn't it just as easy for you to put the seat down? Do I ask you to put the seat up when you're done?
[Editorial note] A man asks these questions because he is actually curious as to why WHO puts the seat down matters, and he would like to compare and contrast the scenarios of a man putting the seat down versus a woman putting the seat up. The poor sap has no clue that he has inadvertently brought his sweetheart to the brink of tears.
Woman: I can't believe you don't want to put the seat down. It's not like it's hard!
[Possible Interpretation] How can he say that he doesn't want me to be happy? I'm not asking him for some impossible thing. Doesn't he love me the way I love him?
[Editorial note] If a woman were to answer the man with something like, "I use the toilet with the seat down 100% of the time, and you use it with the seat down about 50% of the time, which equates to roughly 75% of the total uses are with the seat down. It would be more efficient to put the seat down after each time it has been raised", she would instantly "win" this argument/discussion at least 95% of the time. Of course, if the man would have answered her question with something like, "I'd be happy to do that for you", he'd have her happy as a clam most every time.
Man, still looking for the information he requested, or a fight: You're right, it's not hard. Ipso facto, why must I be the one to do it all the time?

And on it goes. I would guess that most of those who will read this post have had a conversation very much like the one I described. Nod your head if it sounded familiar, if you haven't already nodded.

Tangentially, why is it that the woman in the argument can get upset, yell, scream, and say mean things to the man, but when the man starts dishing out the same in return, the woman runs away and won't work the problem through to a resolution until she's cooled down? Why can't the man do that? Why is it that when a woman is upset about something outside of the relationship, she can stomp and bluster and wave her arms about, but the man is supposed to take it all in while remaining calm and providing what little verbal comfort he can muster? Why can't the man bluster and pace?

Obviously, the answer to the second question... Oh wait, I'm only going on 10 wonderful years of marriage. Can I say obviously and be truthful about it?

Anyway, the answer to the second question would seem to be that behaving in the calm, comforting way is the way the woman needs to be comforted and helped to vent her frustrations. Then the man goes to Guy's Night Out and vents to his buddies, who promptly forget about it because they've got their own problems to deal with.

Now, let's extend this thought process a step or two further. Suppose that a woman heard from another woman what a third woman (a friend, a family member, a neighbor, or otherwise relationally important person) had said about the first woman's children not being under control in the third woman's opinion. Let's now suppose that the first woman's husband is informed of the issue. How is he to respond?

He may think that it's a problem between the two women, but since the third woman didn't tell the first woman directly, he wonders if there might be a possible misunderstanding. However, if he presents that as a possibility and asks if the two concerned parties might want to actually talk about it, he may not be building the relationship with his wife. He may want to contact the accused party directly, but then he might be overstepping the bounds that his wife would prefer him to keep.

Now let's add to this scenario an undercurrent of feeling that several extended offers of relationship building activities have been rejected when distance between the parties does not appear to be a huge problem. Now let's add in a feeling from the party of the first part that the children of the party of the third part have had similar issues as well. Now let's add in a willingness to forgive past wrongs if the other side will do the same, but an uncertainty if that will happen due to the lack of open communication. Now let's add in a desire to know "What have I done or not done to cause this?" Now let's add in...

Fortunately for the husband, the first woman has done a lot of hard work in learning how to speak Man. Sometimes she has to work at it, and sometimes she has to tell the man that she is speaking Man to him. He now knows that he is authorized to deal with this problem like a Man.

So, to tie it all together, I ask: You want to take this outside?